


Oh And There's A Woman

by LilyAngorian



Category: Peaky Blinders (TV)
Genre: Childbirth, Extramarital Affair, F/M, Marriage, Miscarriage, Set after series two so obvious spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-31
Updated: 2015-01-31
Packaged: 2018-03-09 20:38:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3263615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilyAngorian/pseuds/LilyAngorian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What happens after Tommy chooses Grace.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Oh And There's A Woman

It had taken three months for Tommy to secure the divorce. Graces’s husband proved more challenging than he had anticipated, insisting that if she had left Tommy behind before then she could do it again. He spent most of the time locked away in his hotel, asserting the depth and intensity of his affection in frantic, ink-splashed letters to Grace and his lawyer. When he realised his efforts were in vain he left London and took to appearing from nowhere and catching her hand when she was walking down the street alone, imploring her to leave with him. No amount of intimidation seemed to make a difference. He was not even swayed by the threat of Arthur’s fists, though so many faces had been repainted with their strokes. Eventually it fell to Grace herself to shake her pretty blonde curls and lay her hand on her husband’s chest with a crushing finality. That was enough. Tommy watched them say goodbye, and almost felt pity for the other man, but when he saw the tears on her cheeks, a trace of resentment wiped it clean away. 

*******

“You love him?”

“I married him, of course I do.”

“But you’re staying here?”

“Because I love you.”

“If he’d given you a child, would you have stayed? For the child's sake?”

“Yes.”

“But that’s not why you’re staying with me?”

“So many questions.”

“Is that it Grace?”

“No. I should never have left you. It’s you Tommy. It always will be.” 

*******

It had taken another month to organise the wedding. Tommy had work elsewhere for a few weeks which he refused to go into detail about, but he made the arrangements before he left, and they were married within days of him returning. Grace would have settled for something small, but he insisted that a big wedding would be good for business. Make them look richer, more respectable, more trustworthy. He took care of the difficulties, as he always did, and for once a single day passed without incident. Even Ada showed up, bouncing Karl on her knee in the pews, Polly taking the seat beside her, nodding once at Tommy in a resigned but accepting manner. Grace looked like an angel as she made her way up the aisle, white lace delicate and hair curled closed to her scalp.

*******

“You look perfect.”

“There are so many people here.”

“You know I’ve a lot of family. They had to see you for themselves.”

“I missed you last night. The bed was cold.”

“It wont be tonight. Grace, I…”

“Shush, or we’ll miss the important bit.”

*******

Within five months of the wedding, the fragile dresses Grace insisted on wearing were strained more thinly over her stomach. She clutched at Tommy in the night when the memories took over. They were always so vivid. The way the carmine stain had seeped through her skirt, and the empty look in Tommy’s eyes when she had held the fabric desperately up to his face, when he had seen the bloody trace that was all that was left. The sickness was worse than before, and she was always weak and tired. Most days she would not leave the house, lingering on the stairs or pacing the rooms as she waited for something to happen, and prayed that nothing would. She wouldn't lose this one. She couldn't lose this one.

*******

“You shouldn't upset yourself.”

“It’s easy for you to say that.”

“Just because it happened before doesn't mean it will again.”

“What if it keeps happening though?”

“It wont. You’re going to be a mother, Grace.”

“You wont leave me Tommy? If I cant keep it?”

“I’ll never leave you.”

“Promise me.”

“I promise.”

*******

It drove Tommy to fits of anger, to see the flicker in her eyes dull and fade, to watch her stomach swell as her cheeks hollowed. He'd always taken care of the women he loved. Polly. Ada. Even Lizzie, in his own way. But Grace seemed barely there in the light of day, and would toss and turn beside him at night. When he bought her gifts she would thank him in a voice as pale and weak as she looked. When he called a Doctor to put her mind at rest, her concern simply grew. Tommy wouldn’t ever lay a hand on her, but more bullets found a mark when he raised his gun, and that baby was the reason. It would be born in blood, in more ways than one, the cause of a trail of unknown faces flush with the soil. 

*******

“There was blood on your collar.”

“I thought I’d got it all out.”

“You wont be able to now.”

“I’ll get a new one.”

“Don't be back too late tonight.”

“I might have to be. There are some things I need to take care of.”

“Fine.”

“I’ll get Ada to come around.”

“I don't need babysitting Tommy.”

“I never said you did.”

*******

Tommy knew he couldn't go back to Lizzie, not after Epsom, not after what he put her through. He knew in which houses the other whores slept and which streets they frequented, but instinct prevented him seeking any of them out. His frustration was tolerable when compared to the thought of Grace being humiliated by their indiscretion. That was what he told himself, night after night for weeks. Those were the reasons. Those were the reasons it had to be her. But May wasn't so easily convinced. She had held his gaze coolly for what seemed an age, and then when she had started to speak, the words had cut across his skin, wounds light but likely to scar, leaving a sharp itching feeling that seemed impossible to satiate. And so he had tried to claw her in return, and when they had both bled, their skin could have been a single torn canvas. Their lips grew ragged, their breath broken and their hands greedy. And no amount of talking could undo the damage. 

*******

“She’s terrified she’ll lose this baby too.”

“I’d rather not talk about your wife. I don’t know what conversation you’re used to when you pay for this, but I don’t imagine those women have much choice, and given that this is my house, I rather think that I do.” 

“What would you like to talk about?”

“Nothing. I’m tired of talking.”

“You’re angry with me.”

“Of course I am. That’s why you’re here. You’re just as angry, and it’s always easier to be around someone who will hurt you just as much as you hurt them. Someone who won’t cry. Someone who won’t ask you to stop.”

“I’m sorry that I...That I gave you false hope.”

“You’ve only been married a few months, and here you are with me. That’s not what I’d call false hope.”

“I do care about you May.”

“It’s not enough though, is it? It never will be.”

*******

May watched him get dressed, lying curled up in the sheets like a child. The room was thick with silence, as he buttoned his shirt and ran a hand through his hair. Before he left, she told him calmly that she never wanted him to come back. There didn't seem anything worth saying in reply, and so he had walked away without even looking back at her. Tommy washed himself free of her scent, rubbing at the skin where her touch lingered, the water too hot. That evening he ate dinner with a hand firmly placed on Grace’s, feeling guilt at the knowledge that the action was more to reassure himself than her. She curled her fingers into a fist beneath his and left her food untouched. But she kissed him goodnight for the first time in months, and let him gently wrap his arms around her.

*******

“Come to The Garrison tonight. It’s Arthur’s birthday.”

“I don't think I can.”

“Everyone would be pleased to see you.”

“Not tonight. I don't feel well.”

“I’ll tell him you send your apologies then.”

“Tommy…another night maybe?”

“Alright. Another night.”

*******

The baby was born on one of the longest winter nights Tommy had known. He ignored Arthur and John when they laughed and told him to leave the business to the women. He ignored Polly and Ada when they told him there was nothing he could do. He sat on the stairs and waited, watching Karl playing in the hallway and thinking that none of the sobbing and the screaming he had heard before compared to what he could hear from the room above. But the sudden silence that followed drew a chill to his blood, and he hastened up to the door and pushed it open, dreading what he may see when it swung clear of his view. His relief was euphoric. 

*******

“Look at him Tommy. He’s beautiful.” 

“He is.”

“You should name him.”

“Don't you want to?”

“I think you’ve had a name in mind for a while now, if it was a boy.”

“I have.”

“Go on then. While she’s still here to listen.”

“Freddie. I want to call him Freddie.”

*******

Ada so rarely cried, but she was exhausted and overwhelmed enough to grip Pol’s arm tightly and then let a few tears soak into Tommy’s shirt when she walked over and hugged him. He heard her muffled thanks, before she pulled away and smiled over at the baby in Grace’s arms. Tommy gently sat down on the edge of the bed and stroked a tiny hand with one tentative finger. Neither him nor Grace had much time for anything or anyone else for a good few hours after that.

*******

“Is he asleep?”

“Just about. You should go to the pub. Your brothers will never let you live it down if you don’t.”

“I don't want to leave you.” 

“We’ll be here when you get back.”

“Grace…”

“What is it?”

“I love you.”

“I love you.”

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know what it is, but I feel much more confident writing May than I do Grace, and that probably comes across in this one. Also it's a shameless tribute to Freddie because I miss him, and so I feel like Tommy should too.


End file.
